16. Mar, 2016

Being a Mother doesn't define you!

Nothing can quite prepare you for becoming a mother, you think you must be prepared as there's been the length of pregnancy, maybe the reading of baby magazines or books, the never ending advice from family or friends, the decorating and organising of the baby's bedroom before baby arrives, the plan for leaving work on maternity believing the tiny newborn will slot right into your current life, strongly beliving you wont be one of those mums that gives up all the social life!

However much you think you are, that moment your newbon baby is in your arms, nothing could have prepared you for the months and years ahead. 

Becoming a Mother changes who you were as a Woman, not only in title and being responsible for a tiny human, but also your lifestyle, family dynamics, relationship, priorities and outlook on life. 

Before my children I was fully qualified Nursery Nurse with 10 years of caring for children from 6 weeks old in a nursery upto 8 years old in a school, I had worked my way up in a Day Nursery to be a Room Supervisor, then Trainee Mentor and then became a Nursery Mamager.

I thought I must be easily prepared after all I am qualified ! Nothing could have prepared me for the lost feeling of myself. When all the people around start calling you "Mummy" your identity as a person, an individual gets stripped away and you're only left with the title and duty to care for another. For some this can be a time of struggles, of depression, anxiety, worries or panic.

What I've come to realise, is that although Motherhood changed me as a Woman, I don't think it defines me. I am still a woman, I still meet up with my friends (without my children), I still have my aspirations.

Yes my lifestyle of weekend clubbing and being up all hours have changed but now I wouldn't swap that for all the magic of Christmas, games on the beach at the caravan, nor the daily hugs and love from each of my 3 children.